For
the first time, Dr. Ifeoma Utomi, a Consultant Orthodontist at the Lagos
University Teaching Hospital, lecturer at the College of Medicine, University
of Lagos, and wife of Prof Pat Utomi, shares her love story, among other
things, with PunchNG in this interview.
You clocked
50 in July. How does it feel to clock the golden year?
Physically
I don’t notice any difference but I feel happy and excited that I am able to
get to this age. Looking back to my 40th birthday celebration, some of the
people who were there are no more. That makes it a privilege to get to that
age. I am glad that my bones are still strong. Some of my friends who came
around for my 50th birthday expressed concern for me because I was wearing high
heels for the occasion up till 9pm. They said I would feel the effect at my
joints the next day. But the next day, I was up early to go about the day’s
business and I did not feel anything. I give glory to God that I got to this
age without any health challenge.
You
still look like you are in your 30s. How do you maintain this youthful look?
I
wish I still have a regular exercise schedule, but at times, environmental
factors affect it. It requires disciple but it is possible. I used to observe
three times a week real exercises. I do it for the recommended minimum of 20 to
25 minutes that aid the pumping of the heart. What I do now is fitness
exercises in my bedroom at night for about 20 minutes. The evenings are more convenient
for me. I seldom have the time to use the gym in my house.
How will you
describe your 28 years marriage to your husband?
We
have known each other for 30 years. It is a journey of faith when I reflect
because when you meet someone you cannot tell where the journey may take you
both. The fundamental thing is that steps like these must be committed to a
high being and that is what I tell my daughters. I remember that when it was
time for me to make that decision, I knelt down and told God that I needed
someone that would make me happy and not just someone with money. I must say
that the prayer has been answered beyond my expectation. My husband teases me
sometimes, saying that it was getting married to him that made me move closer
to God. That is true, although I was brought up as an Anglican and got married
to a Catholic. It took me some time to flow with the Catholic but since I did,
it has been very good. I recall that some incidents in our marriage, like a
tragic accident he had in 1997, made our family to draw closer to God. I became
more committed through the Full Gospel Men International. Apart from the
spiritual aspect, being married to my husband has turned my life around in
every aspect. He is an inspiration to me, very disciplined and that can be
traced to his upbringing. As early as age seven, he was a Mass Server and that
meant he had to wake up early everyday to be at his service point. He also went
to Catholic boarding schools, which in those days, were known to instil high
discipline in students – Loyola College, Ibadan and Christ the King College,
Onitsha. My husband is a go-getter and I receive a lot of inspirations seeing
the things he has accomplished. I used to think that I was smart until I met my
husband. People also believe that I was smart back then in the secondary
school, especially because I got the best final result in my school that no one
else has surpassed. I have also benefitted in the social aspect too.
But you are
seldom seen with him in public?
I
often hear people say, ‘Oh, we don’t see you,’ and I say every time you see
him, I am right behind him, all you need to do is to imagine it. I can’t afford
to be everywhere with him. But whenever I have to be somewhere with him, I do
so. He is in the public but I have chosen to be the engine room. He understands
and appreciates my preference to see that things are moving well back home. I
believe that as he does well, it rubs off on me. If I had tried to project
myself, we might have had issues earlier in the marriage.
How do you
cope with the demands of your medical profession and raising the family?
Yes,
I am a medical professional, but my profession gives me the time I need to look
after the home front. As a student that was assumed to be very bright in my
secondary school, I was urged to go into the sciences in the university. I
chose medicine as my first course and dentistry as the second choice. I
eventually read dentistry as my first degree and looking back, I think it was
by divine arrangement. For my second degree, I specialised as an Orthodontist,
which does not require one to be on night calls. If I had studied medicine, I
would have been having night duties more often, and my husband used to and
still travels a lot. I have to be there for the family. The kind of job I got
also gave me a good opportunity to see the children raised properly while
taking good care of my husband and the numerous guests we entertain at
different levels of the social strata. A woman should be there for all these,
money is not everything although it is very important. I do tell young girls
that once your husband is capable of meeting your basic needs and maybe you can
travel out once in a year, you can do something that gives your family priority
because children are tomorrow’s leaders. You must get their training right at
the right time. Since I work for the government, I know my working hours and
when work stops. Earlier in my career, I thought I should go into banking. That
was in the early 90s. I remember what my husband said, ‘All that glitter is not
gold.’ He was right because after what looked like the boom period in the
banking sector, there was the great turbulence.
What was your
typical day like, raising your children?
My
schedule is quite different now, but those days, I had to wake up to get them
ready for school. I had to pack their lunch. In the early days, I sometimes
went with them to school and go to my work place. They were two then. After
school and lesson, I ensured they returned home. They didn’t need lesson
teacher at home, I supervised their home work. Raising kids is interesting, it
gets to a stage that you have to clear your living room to make it safe for the
baby to move around. I was very lucky because my first two kids were close in
age, they lived like twins. I was lucky to have a girl first; she came along as
one that moderated things for me. The boys still acted as boys though, but by
training them, they all realised what they shouldn’t do. Generally, I am around
with them until daddy gets back from work and we have dinner as a family. It
was my choice to be available for the children because I could have engaged in
private practice after my official job every day, but I shut down that option
in order to be around the children. I decided that I would manage my resources because
my salary in those days was very small. The choice is up to you if you want to
just make good money to buy all the Aso ebi or you want to convert your extra
time to having well-groomed children.
Where was
your first place of work?
My
place of primary assignment was in a private practice. It was for about one
year. Thereafter, I worked with the Ministry of Defence for about five years
before I went for my postgraduate training, finished in 1999 and moved to the
University of Lagos as a lecturer and a Consultant Orthodontist for the Lagos
University Teaching Hospital. I actually work for two organisations.
Would you
describe yourself as a successful woman?
Yes,
to the extent that I have been able to reach some goals that I set for myself.
It’s a lot of work in the academics where you are expected to publish or
perish. But I am not just a teacher, I am also a clinician. I actually treat
patients and also train other doctors in this area of specialisation. I have
residents learning to be specialists. I also teach students in the university.
By the time I get to where I am aspiring to be very soon – an associate
professor – it will mean that I have contributed a lot. I have already been
recommended for that, but I still have to attend a formal interview.
Do you feel
comfortable with your husband’s social activism and political stance?
My
husband is multifaceted. We share common grounds in many areas. I am also very
passionate about issues that affect Nigerians. When he went into politics, I
won’t say I was very happy because of the peculiar nature of politics in
Nigeria. I had a problem with the kind of characters involved in Nigerian
politics. But when I realised that Nigeria needed to get to the point that
people can benefit from the immense resources that the country has, I had to
support him.
Your husband
appears like a perfect gentleman to most people. Is he really one?
In
fact, my husband is more than a gentleman. I told the whole family and friends
on my birthday that I saw interesting love characters in the literature series
I read in school but my husband has surpassed everyone I have ever read about.
I told the children that their dad has swept me off my feet. There is no
yardstick for measuring it; he has exceeded my expectation in every aspect of my
life. Sometimes, I had to pinch myself to be sure it’s real, because I got more
than I innocently asked God for when I was about to get married – a man that
will make me happy. It was the same way I got the best result in my secondary
school. I just knelt down and asked God for it and studied hard and it came
true. God has blown my mind. You see the flowers at the entrance, the ones
inside, they were all bought by my husband for me. My daughter just saw another
bouquet and said ‘who brought this flower again?’ and when we checked, it was
another one from my husband. He has just completely overwhelmed me in every
aspect of my life. Even on my work, he motivated me to start writing a book.
Are you
saying your romance is hotter now than when you began?
Ah,
I don’t know about when we began. I think the romance is greater now. In the
earlier years, especially when we started having children, the love was there,
but there were too many things to take care of. But now, the old wine is only
getting better. I remember what he wrote on my birthday card, he was astonished
that after 30 years that he has known me, it’s like we are just starting. Our
relationship is also a positive influence on our children. They must be praying
to have our kind of union and I am praying for them too.
Do you have
any regrets in life?
I
am thinking, but I don’t think so. At every point when something had happened,
God turned it around. My husband has been associated with three major negative
incidences. I mentioned the fatal accident in which his driver died in 1997, he
was right there on the train of the London bombing and he got out from there.
In my life too, God has been faithful. I have no regret.
Who are the
other people that have influenced your life?
My
father was the first land surveyor in Eastern Nigeria. My father encouraged me
to read as a child. I remember the picture of him sitting by my side when I was
a child to explain the stories to me and that is why those early years are so
important in forming a child. My mother was a housewife, always there. They
both positively impacted on my life.
What are your
dreams?
My
dreams are in different categories. I have dreams for my children. People
usually tease me that I have three generations of children. I have two
graduates-working-class, two undergraduates and my little boy. I desire great
partners for them. In my career, I desire to touch more lives. For my husband,
I desire to continue to support him in his every effort to touch lives.
How do you
relax?
I
love to just come closer to nature. Take cool breeze, gaze at the greens. That
is why I have a lot of vegetation around my house. I also love to listen to
soft music.
