Last
week I promised I was going to share with you some natural ways to
delay ejaculation, prevent weak erection, overcome premature ejaculation
and increase sexual stamina. Premature ejaculation, or ejaculating
before you or your wife want you to, is a common problem that strikes
most men at some point in their lives. Several factors can influence
when ejaculation occurs, but it can be controlled with some forethought
or, in extreme cases, medical intervention. Here are some strategies to
help you get over premature ejaculation and improve your sexual stamina.
Sometimes
we do not have any medical condition; this condition just happens. For
quick fixes, I suggest you just wear a condom or two together at the
same time as the case may require. It sounds too simple to be true, but
it works for a lot of men. The most natural thing is to apply strategic
pressure. With a little anatomy knowledge, you can delay an oncoming
ejaculation by applying pressure to one of two spots.
First is
the perineum pressure: this is pressing on the perineum, perineum is a
spot midway between your scrotum and your anus, and firm pressure will
help to stop ejaculation because this spot reaches through to the
prostate gland. It is the prostate that contracts and expands during
orgasm and then expels the ejaculation fluid. If you find it difficult
to do, just make sure you are very clean down there and there after,
ask your wife to assist in applying this loving pressure for you. Then
the testes tug: When a man is so close to orgasm or very near orgasm,
his scrotum rises up closer to his body. You can delay ejaculation by
gently pulling your testes down and away from your body.
To make
it more romantic and passionate, teach and train your wife to do this
for you. Another natural way is to do all you can to reduce anxiety. For
many husbands’ extreme williness to over-impress their wives, couple
with anxiety and pressure to perform have been a major contributor to
premature ejaculation. If you can just relax and remember that your wife
probably cares about you and all you represent in her life more than
the timing of your orgasms, and that premature ejaculation doesn’t mean
you can’t still be good in bed. Then, don’t start off sex with orgasm in
focus please and please, take climaxing out of your expectations.
Instead of viewing intercourse only as a means of achieving orgasm,
reframe it as relaxing, pleasurable time with your adorable wife and
season of bonding that you’ll enjoy regardless of ejaculation. For
effectiveness, take time out, have a family meeting and discuss this
new mindset with your wife, so that she can stop pressuring you,
intentionally or un-intentionally. Then while in the very act of sex, do
all you can to think nonsexual thoughts. If you notice yourself getting
too excited, turn your thoughts to something distant, abstract and
unsexy, such as math, rush hour traffic or football match.
Only
dwell on it long enough to give yourself a short break from arousal,
maybe 5 to 10 seconds, and then refocus your attention on your wife and
the action of sex. Avoid thinking of a topic that is going to make you
stressed or cause you to lose your arousal entirely. Thoughts such as
the payment of the children school fees, Nigeria erratic power supply or
some moods killer thoughts should be avoided. Now proceed further and
try edging. Edging, or orgasm control, is the practice of maintaining a
high level of sexual arousal while delaying ejaculation. It takes
practice, but it gets easier over time. Here are two methods
recommended to stop premature ejaculation. Stop-and-start method: Have
intercourse as usual until you feel yourself coming uncomfortably close
to orgasm. Immediately and abruptly, cease all stimulation for 30
seconds, and then start again. Repeat this pattern until you’re ready to
ejaculate. Squeeze method: Have intercourse as usual until you feel
like orgasm is seconds away. Abruptly, stop other stimulation and gently
squeeze your thumb and forefinger around the part of the penis where
the glans meet the shaft (or your wife could do this).
After
squeezing for a few seconds, try and pause all stimulation for another
30 seconds before resuming intercourse. Repeat this pattern until you’re
ready to ejaculate.
Then try and change sexual positions. Some
intercourse positions put less pressure on the glans (or the most
sensitive part of the penis). Here’s what to do: Try “passive”
positions. Lie beneath your wife, or try a side-by-side (or spooning)
position. Avoid “active” positions.
Missionary and rear-entry
positions place the most stimulation and friction on the glans, so
consider taking them off the menu for now. And then take it slow.
Depending on your personal sensitivity, slowing your movements and
opting for gentler, more teasing intercourse can help you hold off
orgasm longer. If you find yourself getting too close to orgasm, slow
down a bit, change to a new position, or take a break to stimulate your
wife in fore play. Make sure you focus on foreplay.
Sometimes,
“premature” ejaculation is a frame of mind. Even if your ejaculation
comes quickly during intercourse, you can still give your wife a great
sexual experience through more extended, intimate, attentive and
generous foreplay. Stimulate your wife enough manually, orally or with
toys, and she may not need or want a long session of intercourse to
finish happy.
Then of course, do PC muscle exercises. Flexing and
strengthening your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle can help you exert more
control over ejaculation. (Note that this is also called Kegel
exercises, which you might have heard me recommend for women. The muscle
is the same in both sexes.) Locate your PC muscle. Put one or two
fingers right behind your testicles.
Pretend that you are
urinating, and then try to stop the flow with a quick muscle
contraction. That muscle you just used to stop the flow from the bladder
is your PC muscle. Flex the muscle regularly. Try to do 10 to 20
squeezes in a set, 2 or 3 times a day. Do a set whenever you’re bored or
stationary, like when you’re sitting at your desk or in traffic. No one
will be able to see that you’re doing them. Squeeze your PC muscle when
you feel ejaculation coming on. Once the muscle is strong enough, you
should be able to hold it off just like stopping flow when urinating.
Practise controlling your orgasm. When you are with your wife, focus on
improving your control over your climax. Stimulate yourself to the edge
of climax and then stop.
Do this several times before finishing.
As you practise, learn to recognise the feeling of getting close to
orgasm, and take note of how close you can get and still effectively
stop, and when you’ve reached a “point of no return.” During
intercourse, use that knowledge to slow down or adjust your movements if
you get too close too early. Condoms reduce stimulation for most men,
which should prolong the time before ejaculation. But while looking for
a condom to buy, steer clear of condoms that are marketed as extra
thin. Instead, get a brand that allows more stimulation later. Some
condoms are coated with a slight numbing gel on the inside. This can
help you put off ejaculation for longer without causing numbness to your
wife. (Just make sure you know which side is where when you put it on.)
Use an analgesic cream or spray. There are two classes of these
products. The first is the traditional “numbing” creams and sprays that
have been in the market for some time. The advantage is that you’ll feel
less sensation, which will delay ejaculation. While the disadvantage is
that your wife may suffer a loss of sensation as well and of course
less sensitive intercourse is not always an appealing notion, even in
these circumstances. There is a new class of topical herbs that absorb
into the skin to deliver a mild anaesthetic to the sensory nerves below
the top layer of skin of the penis.
This allows men to have
ejaculatory control but with less loss of sexual sensation, and reduces
the transference to their wives. If you routinely ejaculate less than a
minute and a half after beginning vaginal intercourse, and none of the
above fixes have worked, it might be time to see a sex therapist.
Saturday, 21 December 2013
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