Dr Petra Boynton, the Telegraph’s séx and rélationships agony aunt, tells one new mother there is no ‘right’ time to resume séx after having a baby and offers advice on how to rekindle a romantic rélationship with your partner post birth.
My fiancé and I haven’t had séx since the birth of my six-month old daughter. This is largely due to my body image issues, but also my partner previously séxting other girls on Facebook, who all seem to be slim. I feel as though I physically and emotionally have no connection to séx whatsoever. I’m aware of why and I have tried explaining these feelings to my partner and he still persists at least 5 times a day. He just keeps going on about it, pressing against me. When I say no to séx, he moans, whines and even says “well you can use your hands instead”. I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I want to reassure you many people don’t have any kind of séx for six months or longer after having a baby. Particularly following a difficult birth, or if you have a high needs baby, or Post Natal Depression. Body image worries, having other children to care for, or a lack of support also understandably sap desire.
cause tension and difficulties that previously hadn’t troubled a relationship.
It’s also common to hear mothers say they don’t want more physical closeness from a partner – either because they’re enjoying this experience with their baby, or because they feel drained by it. Partners talk of desire and wanting to be close but being uncertain how to do this. Sometimes a partner being too pushy results in the mother withdrawing and both feeling like affection is lacking or fearing the relationship will end.
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